Flying Monkeys

Narcissists and their flying Monkeys

Narcisstic Personality Disorder

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) crave for attention and constantly seek admiration. Despite their façade of confidence, they secretly fear being undesirable. They are in a constant struggle to “look good”. Narcissists often play the victim role as a defense mechanism to avoid accountability and to gain control over situations slipping out of their grasp.

They manipulate and control what others think to feel better about themselves. Narcissists are masters of gaslighting. They’ll deny any wrongdoing, distort facts, and they might even accuse others of being the problem. If confronted the narcissist plays the victim, portraying themselves as unfairly treated.

No one likes to be treated with disdain or disrespect, but the narcissist is downright phobic about it. He or she worries about it all the time and imagines slights and personal attacks even where they don’t exist. To avoid this, a narcissist uses every defense mechanism they have in their arsenal–gaslighting, rages, silent treatment, lying, projection, denial and fabrications.

If you see a group exchanging volumes of exaggerated unrealistic praise and grandiosity (“I am following in the footsteps of giants”), you are really witnessing a snake pit of narcissists pleasing themselves.

Narcissists are also convinced they are “special”. Rules and laws are for others but do not apply to themselves.

When a narcissist is exposed and their manipulative tactics are threatened to be laid bare, they often resort to using their “flying monkeys”. But what exactly are these flying monkeys, and what do they do?

Flying monkeys are individuals who carry out the bidding of a narcissist or an abusive person. The term originates from The Wizard of Oz, where the Wicked Witch of the West uses flying monkeys under her spell. These individuals act as proxies for the narcissist, doing their dirty work—whether it’s spreading rumors, spying, or harassing others. They help the narcissist to appear above the fray or reinforce the victim role.

Here are some signs that someone might be a flying monkey:

Blind Loyalty: They side with the narcissist, regardless of evidence or the situation.
Gossip and Rumors: They spread gossip or rumors about the target.
Gaslighting and Manipulation: They may gaslight or manipulate others to whip up a mob and violence.
Dismissing Feelings: They trivialize the victim’s feelings.
Information Sharing: They pass on information about the victim to aid the narcissist in their harassment.

Why do people submit to narcissists and become flying monkeys?

There’s no easy answer. Some reasons include:

Grooming: Narcissists groom their flying monkeys from the start, manipulating their perception of reality.
People-Pleasing: Flying monkeys often want to please the narcissist, fearing disappointment or becoming targets themselves.
Lack of Awareness: Some may lack emotional intelligence or empathy, not realizing the harm they’re participating in.
Flying Monkeys may be Narcissists themselves. Participating in smear campaigns can give them a sense of power and satisfaction.

When a narcissist is threatened to be exposed, he or she may unleash their flying monkeys and start smear campaigns to maintain control and get approval to perpetuate their toxic behavior.

Education and Awareness

Empirical research indicates that the incidence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is at least 6.2% of the population. That’s about 1 in 15. Given a population of about 140 people in HPV one can expect about 9-10 people with a Narcissistic Personality disorder.

Why should you educate yourself about it?

NPD is a growing problem and it is likely it will affect you or a loved one adversely at some point of your life.
You may well be an unwitting part in someone’s else abuse campaign.
If you are unaware, you are less likely to be able to protect yourself
Any kind of group are a magnet for People with NPD. Politicians have a much higher percentage of people with NPD in their ranks than the average population. Voting and giving power to a narcissistic politician can be fatal.
If you allow Narcistic personalities control your HOA, property values will decline as the HOA will be problem ridden and therefore fewer people will want to live there.

Ever wondered why HOAs are often so problematic?

They are a favored playground for people with NPD. They yearn for positions of power and control. HOA positions are easy to come by, most normal people have little interest to be involved and way to busy to live a joyful active live. That gives people with NPD the opportunity to seize a HOA management and wreak havoc with property values.

When you see the same people occupy HOA positions over years and carefully groom their replacements and show no interest in transparency or following the common law, what you are really seeing is a red flag for your property values.

Further recommended reading.

1. Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed by Wendy Behary: This book provides strategies for communicating with narcissists, tapping into your innate strengths, and navigating relationships with self-absorbed individuals1.

2. Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists by Craig Malkin: Explore the history of NPD and learn science-backed advice on dealing with narcissists1.

3. The Handbook of Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A comprehensive resource for researchers, students, and clinicians, offering empirically sound information on narcissism2.

4. Narcissistic Personality Disorder: New Research by Dr. John C. Raven: A scholarly exploration of NPD, its diagnosis, and treatment3.

5. The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor Payson: Understand the dynamics of one-way relationships and learn coping strategies.